Knee Tetris

12 April (retroactively)

Pre

Last night was restless. I spent my final waking hours early this morning aimlessly in a kind of contemplative meditation. No thoughts. Just existing. Today I woke up at 10.45am. At 12.30 I will be admitted to hospital.

Post

The roof started moving once I was given my premed and nothing else beyond that time exists until I remember Mum telling me I've been in my room for 20 minutes now. 4.20pm. Mum also tells me that the nurse who was attending said I was funny when I woke up and that I was all touchy, unfortunately I don't remember any of this. I'm in some discomfort but it's not really pain, more of an awareness that some dude who seems more suited to drilling through trees has drilled through my tibia and femur to replace my broken acl with part of my hamstring. Pretty fucked up. At some point I'm shown the cartilage that was removed from my knee, whether it was torn away when my knee collapsed or shaved off by my surgeon I don't know. During this long afternoon Samwee and Jack turn up, Mum leaves, Jack leaves, Dad and Phil turn up, my roommate is rolled in, and finally Dad, Phil and Samwee leave together. I don't catch any of the nurses names, nor that of my roommate. I had dinner sometime before and I don't throw up.